Unspeakable

So lastnight on my way home I found myself staring out the window up at the sky (don't worry I wasn't driving) talking to God. Or at least I was trying to talk to him. But I couldn't find the words.

At first this started to scare me! It's not like me to not have anything to say, especially to God. Trust me I am a talker... As I sat there searching for words, tears started to form in my eyes. Does this mean, I am falling away from the Lord? If I can' t talk to him, how is he going to hear me? To be honest for the split second I felt so far away from him.

As we continued our drive, I closed my eyes, shut my mind off, and opened my heart. And at that moment, I felt so peaceful... As I rested in this peace, I begun to understand. I was having a moment with God, and it was a moment that didn't need any words. With a moment like this, there are no words to be spoken. It was about resting in the presence of the Lord. It was about love and trust.

Here I was causing myself to almost have an anxiety attack, because I couldn't find the words to be said to God, and wondering if I was so far away from him that he could not hear me. But the reality of this is, I have never been closer to him.

See I have been taught to talk. Talk about your feelings, emotions, fears, and everything in between. I always thought that as long as I talk, everything will be ok. But the Lord taught me something lastnight. Sometimes you just can't talk about it. There are no words. But just because we don't have the words, doesn't mean he can't hear us. The Lord knows our hearts!

If I wasn't seat belted into my seat, this was a moment that would of brought me to my knees. Our God is a great God!