Saved

September 6th 2007 is such a significant date in my life for so many reasons. I am sure most of you can think of one or two. But today I am going to write about one that most of you may not know about.
September 6 2007 is when I found myself in the hospital. Why? The hospital called it an apparent suicide attempt. True? Yes! See for the 2 days prior to that, I took almost 48 pills. I just wanted to sleep. When I slept I didn't feel. I didn't have to live with the pain, regret, anger, and guilt. When I slept I didn't have to accept the truth.
Everytime I would wake up I would just take more pills. So many things had happened in my life that I new the time was coming that my actions were going to have a major impact on so many people around me. I thought this "apparent suicide attempt" would save them the anger and disappointment that they would feel. As you can see I was being selfish, and thinking only of myself. What about the sadness and the guilt that those who care so much for me would feel?
Something happened to me that day. When I woke up, instead of reaching for another pill, I grabbed my phone. I texted my bestfriend and told her I needed to go to the hospital. I remember her asking me why? My response "I took to many pills, I need help" Things from the point on are a little hazy. I don't remember the drive, or much of the hospital visit. What I do remember from that day is I started to feel.
Looking back on that day, I didn't have a relationship with the Lord, but he had one with me. The day that I tried to take my life, the Lord saved it. And for that I am forever grateful. Who am I that he cared enough to spare my life? I am his!
Not only did he save my life, physically. he saved me emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I was saved on September 6 2007 because Jesus gave up his own life so that I could live.